• Estevan Family Resource

A Ridiculous Survey (But Fun)

Last night, after eating a lovely meal, my husband and I were just relaxing in the living room watching TV. I was scrolling through Facebook, and came across one of those posts that gives you a list of questions to ask your spouse with no prompting or set up, and to post their answers.

I rarely share the answers, but I do get a kick out of playing the game with my husband. He detests this kind of stuff, but he generally humours me. I went through the list, asking him each of the questions, and some of his answers made me laugh right out loud! (For example, he guessed me to be about 5 foot 7….. I am really short, probably only 5 foot 3 or so). We had a giggle or two, and then I went through the list again, reading the questions, and telling him my answers for him…. Enter more laughter. It only took a few minutes but it was special and sweet and funny. We both got a kick out of it.

I am not putting my faith in a Facebook survey to determine whether or not my spouse knows me (he does) or whether the status of our marriage depends upon his ability to answer these questions correctly.

The point of my story is that special moments in any relationship can happen if you choose to engage in it. Having this little giggle and silly moment with my husband is just one small example of why our marriage is healthy and works.

Here are some other signs of a healthy relationship (which can be applied to ANY relationship, not just a romance, dating or marriage):

· Being yourself: you feel comfortable around the person. Changing yourself to please someone else won’t work in the long run and can frustrate your friends and family, so it’s important to be yourself.

· Honesty: you feel comfortable talking about things in the relationship, including problems or concerns.

· Good communication: you discuss things that are important to you or your relationship. You ask each other what you’re thinking and feeling and you listen to each other.

· Respect: you respect and support each other, and listen to each other’s concerns. It’s important to treat yourself with respect and say no to things that make you uncomfortable.

· Feeling safe: if you feel threatened in any way, you’re not in a healthy relationship. Feeling safe is both emotional and physical. It’s important to know that the person won’t try to hurt your feelings or your body.

· Trust: trust is about being able to count on someone. It’s about believing that someone will be honest with you and follow through on their promises. When you trust someone, you know that they’ll support you and look out for you. You have each other’s best interests at heart.

· Equality: equality keeps relationships safe and fair. For example, being equal in a relationship means sharing the power, not bossing each other around. Equality can also mean sharing the effort. If you text or call your partner often, but they don’t seem to have time for you, your relationship may be unequal.

· Support: support is about feeling cared for and respected. In healthy relationships, people listen to each other, help out with problems and show support by attending important events.